Today a friend of mine died. We met because I am a hospice volunteer and she needed someone to help her with a photo-memory project. I spent quite a few hours by her side at the computer, helping to upload photos and enter text. She had originally wanted to make a family history video, but we soon discovered that it is not that easy. After family members proved to be challenging to record (her elderly father would only stare at the ceiling when he talked), and the video software crashed the computer multiple times, we switched to a photo project.
It has been lingering in the back of my mind that any day now I might get the phone call I just did. I learned about ten days ago that she was getting close to death. I did not see her nor did I expect to: she has a loving family and I knew they would surround her with their presence and their care during her final days.
My friend was a kind and brave lady, who faced her coming death with great strength. When her health started to fail several years ago she and her husband decided to go ahead and do many of the things they had always planned to do. They traveled, went to plays, visited craft fairs. Sometimes it was hard to schedule a visit because they were on the go a lot, even though every excursion exhausted her. She laughed easily and was very generous and thoughtful – even her photo project was a gift to her children and grandchildren, to record the unique circumstances of her life and help them to know their own history. She was 67.
She and I had a number of conversations about faith. We went to different churches but shared the same love for God and devotion to Christ. I did not get to share this Lenten blog with her, although I think she would have enjoyed reading it. But there is nothing I could have taught her about suffering or patience or trust in God. She was and always will be an example to me of how to live and die with grace.
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