Hungry for Church

Today we visited with some friends who provide crisis care for children. An infant recently was placed with them who has been diagnosed with “failure to thrive.” 

Remember the international scandal about orphanages in Romania, which were so short-staffed that infants were rarely cuddled but instead just lay in their cribs all day, getting only a diaper change and a quick feeding? Those babies failed to thrive - they were listless, expressionless, and never smiled. Many died. That’s the result of extreme neglect - babies with no human love actually lose their will to live.

We stood in our friends’ garage (they were having a garage sale) and mourned for this little one, currently hospitalized. And then we discussed the mundane things of life, the garage sale, growing mint, new pets, running errands. It felt so odd to me - not far is away is a child being coaxed to fight for her own life, and we’re discussing garage sales.  But that’s the way life is, full of contrasts that coexist.

I thought about that (the both-and of life) when I came across yet another Internet article by someone who seems to think the world is an either-or place. He claims that at one time in Christianity the church was all about “the institution” but now it is all about “the experience.” But I believe these are not opposing concepts; they not only have always existed together but support and complement each other.

The church is a great mystery, one of the many beautiful mysteries of our Christian faith. Because it is a mystery, scholars, mystics and theologians have used multiple metaphors to explain and describe it. Christians throughout the ages have struggled to live it, to give it expression in the world. The church is a body, an organic entity, a unity of diverse parts. It is an expression of divine action. She is the Bride of Christ, a woman, often faithless yet always being wooed back to God. The church is the pilgrim people of God, individuals on a journey of faith in the company of others. It is herald, servant, sacrament. It is a table, a place where the faithful gather to offer their lives and receive the bread of angels.

I am hungry for church. I need the institution and the doctrines so I will be challenged and comforted, have my soul lifted and my thinking deepened. I need the experience of church, for only there do I get to participate in the glorious mystery of the Eucharist! I need the church for my journey of faith, to learn and struggle and grow in the company of flawed human beings, despite the fact that they often do not get it right, just as I often do not. 

St. Gabriel Church, Toronto

I am hungry for worship in the presence of my family and friends as well as those fellow travelers who are still strangers to me. I am hungry for beauty, for the handiwork of artists and musicians who create structures and liturgies that lead me into reverence and honor for our Creator and Saviour. 

I want to be a both-and Christian, to have the courage to live my faith in the world and to embrace the church in all its manifestations. For me church is about experience and institutions, fellowship within structures, hierarchy in the service of community. Yet living in the both-and of church and personal faith is a continual challenge and there is much I have yet to learn.